1 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:30,990 Good evening. 2 00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:37,100 Since you're allowed to make yourself comfortable during our show, 3 00:00:37,130 --> 00:00:39,900 I thought it only right that I be allowed to relax. 4 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,110 After all, the rules of television 5 00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:47,110 seem weighed far too much in favor of the viewer. 6 00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:50,310 You can relax in your home, 7 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,950 while I must stay here in this drafty studio. 8 00:00:54,450 --> 00:00:57,620 I'm not feeling a bit well. 9 00:00:57,650 --> 00:01:01,060 But the show must go on, whether you like it or not. 10 00:01:01,090 --> 00:01:04,760 And tonight's show is called "The Indestructible Mr. Weems." 11 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:25,710 Have any luck? Hmm? 12 00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:28,220 Oh, not bad, shot a 41 on the front nine, then a birdie three on... 13 00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:29,750 No, I mean... 14 00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:35,560 Not a nibble. You can't give them away. 15 00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:38,290 You'd think we were stealing their money instead of doing them a favor. 16 00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:46,400 ALL: We, Knights of the Golden Lodge, 17 00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:48,800 pledge ourselves in brotherhood, 18 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,570 unstintingly, to help our fellow members 19 00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:53,840 and those less fortunate than ourselves. 20 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,150 The board meeting of the Knights of the Golden Lodge 21 00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:58,310 is now in session. 22 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,750 It distresses me to inform you 23 00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:04,090 that after months of hard work by our sales committee, 24 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,290 we have yet to sell our first plot. 25 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,220 Well, maybe if we didn't call it a cemetery, 26 00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:09,960 maybe if we called it something else, 27 00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:12,130 like a resting place or something. 28 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,060 Point well taken, Brother Brodsky. 29 00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:18,930 You will notice the tract is now officially referred to as Elysium Park. 30 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:24,070 Elysium is taken from the Greek, meaning "Paradise." 31 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:25,370 Quite appropriate, I think. 32 00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:27,210 I remember when it was a golf course. 33 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,910 Shot an 81 there once. 34 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,880 The eighth green was a lulu. 35 00:02:30,910 --> 00:02:34,380 Brother Elkins, I'm sure your golf score is of great interest. 36 00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:37,190 But at the moment, we have more serious things to consider. 37 00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:39,890 I merely want to impress you with the fact that our members 38 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:43,120 seem to be ignoring our unselfish efforts on their behalf. 39 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:47,230 Meanwhile, taxes and cost of upkeep continue to climb, 40 00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:50,000 while the project remains a park, 41 00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,400 instead of a final resting place 42 00:02:51,430 --> 00:02:53,940 where our dear brothers may lie down 43 00:02:53,970 --> 00:02:55,440 at the end of a weary journey. 44 00:02:55,470 --> 00:02:57,110 Well, take it from me. 45 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,240 No one wants to be the first to lie down. 46 00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:01,940 I beg your pardon? 47 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,110 Believe me, 48 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:07,620 no one's signing up until we've got a customer in the ground. 49 00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:09,780 (CLEARS THROAT) 50 00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:12,220 I believe Brother Brown has hit the nail on the head, gentlemen. 51 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,720 MAX: Yeah, he struck a nerve, all right. 52 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:18,260 When things are slow in used cars, I run a contest. 53 00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,800 Now, suppose we give a plot away 54 00:03:20,830 --> 00:03:24,570 as a door prize at the next Lodge dance? 55 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,540 There's a certain dignity in preparing for one's final confinement. 56 00:03:28,570 --> 00:03:30,970 I find your suggestion highly revolting. 57 00:03:31,070 --> 00:03:34,180 Sorry, I was just thinking out loud. 58 00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:36,910 Any of you remember Clarence Weems? 59 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:40,450 Weems? Weems. Yeah. 60 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,720 I sold him a sedan six years ago. 61 00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,620 He wears an upper plate. I made it. 62 00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:47,360 Brother Weems. Yes. 63 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,260 Yes, a man in his declining years. 64 00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:54,800 An auctioneer by trade, but a credit to the Lodge and to the community. 65 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,330 Yes, now that I recall, 66 00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:00,140 he ceased being an active member over a year ago. 67 00:04:00,170 --> 00:04:02,100 That's when he lost his wife. 68 00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:04,770 Then his business went sour and he got sick. 69 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:08,580 He's kind of given up. 70 00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:11,050 In fact, he isn't expected to live out the year. 71 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,780 CATO: Well, that's too bad. 72 00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:15,180 But what has this to do with our immediate problem? 73 00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:18,890 Suppose we make him a proposition? 74 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:24,130 Say we give him $50 a week, support him until the end. 75 00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:29,800 In return, say he agrees to be our first customer. 76 00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:33,940 Now, that wouldn't be charity. 77 00:04:33,970 --> 00:04:36,710 We'd be giving him something, he'd be giving us something. 78 00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:40,380 That's the answer! 79 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,810 Are you suggesting that we subsidize Brother Weems 80 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:46,280 if he agrees to be interred in our park? 81 00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:47,380 Sure. 82 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,520 Are you positive 83 00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:53,990 he's teetering on the edge of immortality? 84 00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:56,790 Well, he's been in a sickbed for over a year. 85 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,190 He's practically got one foot in the grave. 86 00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:01,060 Oh, I see. 87 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,400 MAX: Well, what have we got to lose? 88 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:05,030 $50 a week. 89 00:05:05,070 --> 00:05:06,570 Yes, but think of the taxes and the upkeep. 90 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,200 I say let's give it a try! Me, too. 91 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:10,770 All right, gentlemen. 92 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,540 An emergency calls for extraordinary measures. 93 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,710 Suppose we look in on Brother Weems. Agreed? 94 00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:17,150 ALL: Agreed! 95 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,050 A walk-up apartment? 96 00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:28,260 Well, if he was a rich man, we wouldn't be here. 97 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,360 What floor, Harry? 98 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:34,060 Four. 99 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,180 Please, Daddy, try and rest. 100 00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:53,520 WEEMS: Yes, dear, I will. 101 00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:00,520 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 102 00:06:08,030 --> 00:06:09,460 Hello. 103 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,400 (PANTING) Hello. 104 00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:12,730 We're from the Lodge. 105 00:06:12,770 --> 00:06:14,140 The Lodge? 106 00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:17,040 Yes. Knights of the Golden Lodge. 107 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,640 I wonder if we might see Mr. Weems. 108 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,140 Oh, hi, Harry. I didn't see you. Come in, please. 109 00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:29,850 Laura, this is Mr. Stone, Dr. Elkins and Mr. Brodsky. 110 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,750 How do you do? How do you do? 111 00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:35,260 Harry, you're coming by later to take me to the movie, aren't you, darling? 112 00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:38,360 I mean, I asked Mrs. Collins from down the hall to come and sit with Daddy. 113 00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:40,230 HARRY: Of course, it was a promise. 114 00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:41,800 Oh, good. 115 00:06:41,830 --> 00:06:43,300 I'll tell my daddy that you're here. 116 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,070 I didn't know you were so friendly with Miss Weems. 117 00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:53,640 Oh, we've known each other for a long time. 118 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,210 Are you engaged? 119 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,680 Well, in a manner of speaking. 120 00:06:56,710 --> 00:06:58,280 We were supposed to be married last December, 121 00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:01,120 but the wedding's had to be postponed. 122 00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:04,020 Brother Brown, exactly what caused the postponement? 123 00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:07,290 We're not in the Lodge now. Call me Harry. 124 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,690 We're on Lodge business, though. 125 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,860 I repeat, why is the wedding being postponed? 126 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,130 LAURA: You can come in now. 127 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,860 Oh, this way, gentlemen. This way. 128 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,680 You remember these gentlemen, Mr. Weems. 129 00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:28,340 Lodge members. 130 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:31,050 I didn't know you were all on the convalescent committee. 131 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:33,580 (CHUCKLING) Well, we're not exactly... 132 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,650 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 133 00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:38,550 That must be Mrs. Collins now. 134 00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:40,820 I just want to tell her when to give you your medicine. 135 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,490 Excuse me. 136 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,930 She's a good girl. Can't do enough for me. 137 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,900 Well, maybe I won't be a burden to her much longer. 138 00:07:48,930 --> 00:07:50,570 (DOOR OPENING) 139 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,630 So you've come to cheer a sick man up, have you? 140 00:07:52,670 --> 00:07:54,900 (DOOR CLOSING) Well, you've come to the wrong place. 141 00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:58,470 I can't stand do-gooders, sympathy or long faces. 142 00:07:58,510 --> 00:08:00,840 All I ask is that you have a good time at the wake. 143 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,710 (ALL LAUGH) 144 00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:06,010 Brother Weems, you sound like a practical man. 145 00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:08,380 That's why I don't think you'll take offense at what we have to say. 146 00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:11,050 Ah, got something up your sleeve, have you? 147 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,920 No, just an honest business proposition. 148 00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:17,090 I lost my business, lost everything. 149 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:20,500 You see, the Lodge is willing to give you $50 a week, until... 150 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,300 Well, until the end comes. 151 00:08:24,330 --> 00:08:28,270 I don't need charity. Laura works in the library. We get along. 152 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:32,140 That's not charity, Mr. Weems. You'd be earning it. 153 00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:36,040 That's right. You see, the Lodge recently purchased a tract of land 154 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:39,280 and converted it into a final resting place for the members. 155 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,520 We call it Elysium Park. 156 00:08:41,550 --> 00:08:43,490 That's just a fancy name for a graveyard. 157 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:49,320 It's attractively landscaped and ideally located. 158 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,630 Your real estate office handle the deal? 159 00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:53,060 What? 160 00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:55,960 (STAMMERING) Well, yes, we did select the land. 161 00:08:57,970 --> 00:09:01,000 The point is, if you'll agree to be interred there, 162 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,870 the Lodge will continue paying you until the time comes. 163 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:06,310 Having trouble selling the plots, huh? 164 00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:09,880 MAX: They're not exactly busting down the doors. 165 00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:12,250 My grandmother believed in the wee people and the leprechauns, 166 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,080 but I can't afford to be superstitious. 167 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,120 I'm overdue now. 168 00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:18,020 They used to say in the old days, 169 00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:21,120 "Going, going, gone." 170 00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:24,590 Then you'll accept our offer? 171 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,800 It has the sound of an honorable arrangement. 172 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,830 Good. 173 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,470 We took the liberty of having some papers drawn up. 174 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,500 Afraid I wouldn't live out the day, huh? 175 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,870 (CHUCKLES) 176 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:36,100 My glasses. 177 00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:44,110 Oh, here, let me help. 178 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,920 Thank you. 179 00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:49,420 I think you'll find it all there. 180 00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:52,350 Your obligation to us, our obligation to you. 181 00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:55,660 The starting and the end. 182 00:09:57,690 --> 00:10:00,300 This clause A here, "Party of the first part," 183 00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:01,830 that's you. Mmm-hmm. 184 00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:04,830 "...agrees to pay party of the second part," that's me, 185 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,040 "the agreed upon sum of money." 186 00:10:07,070 --> 00:10:09,970 It doesn't say anything about how much I'm supposed to get. 187 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:13,240 Oh? That is an oversight. 188 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:15,840 Better write it in and initial it. 189 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,180 WEEMS: So long as it's on paper, 190 00:10:17,210 --> 00:10:19,910 we might as well spell it out so everyone can understand. 191 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:21,280 Oh, absolutely. 192 00:10:26,490 --> 00:10:28,490 Now, if you'll just sign here. 193 00:10:32,690 --> 00:10:33,900 Done. 194 00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:35,430 Thank you. 195 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,600 Yeah. This will be a blessing to Laura. 196 00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:39,370 WEEMS: Now that she knows I'll be taken care of, 197 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,170 she can give up her job and get married. 198 00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:46,070 I think we'd better be getting back. 199 00:10:46,110 --> 00:10:47,780 STANLEY: Goodbye, Mr. Weems. 200 00:10:47,810 --> 00:10:49,410 I could stay until Laura gets back. 201 00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:52,750 No. 202 00:10:52,780 --> 00:10:53,750 Goodbye, Mr. Weems. 203 00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,420 Take good care of yourself. 204 00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:00,920 Goodbye. 205 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,190 We might look in on you now and then, if you don't mind. 206 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,900 Don't bother. Just read the obituary columns. 207 00:11:06,930 --> 00:11:07,830 (CHUCKLES) 208 00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,470 Your copy. I've already signed. 209 00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:13,970 Goodbye, Brother Weems. 210 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,100 Goodbye. 211 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,750 Very convenient. Now you can go ahead and marry that girl. 212 00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:26,650 It just worked out that way. 213 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,350 What difference does it make? 214 00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,450 From what I've seen, it looks like a good investment. 215 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,290 A week, maybe a month. 216 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,420 Then we can unload every plot in the park. 217 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:48,540 Mr. Weems. 218 00:11:48,570 --> 00:11:50,210 WEEMS: Come in, Mrs. Collins. 219 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:58,110 I thought you might like some chicken broth. 220 00:11:58,150 --> 00:12:00,720 Thanks. But I don't feel like chicken broth. 221 00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:02,750 I feel like something more substantial. 222 00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:04,820 Maybe roast beef or even a steak. 223 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:05,920 But Dr. Allen said... 224 00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:07,490 Oh, bother Dr. Allen. 225 00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:12,460 You know, Sarah, you're a handsome-looking woman. 226 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:17,270 Why, Mr. Weems, what's come over you? 227 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,830 You never noticed me that way before. 228 00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,240 It's time I did. 229 00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:23,870 And, Sarah, one thing more. 230 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,340 Yes, Mr. Weems? 231 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,710 Call me Clarence. 232 00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:27,810 Yes, Mr. Weems. 233 00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:30,280 I mean, Clarence. 234 00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,520 I hear you're getting married next month. 235 00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:43,260 Looks that way. 236 00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:49,860 Do you know anything about this? 237 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:52,470 It looks like an application for active membership in the Lodge. 238 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,600 It's from Clarence Weems. 239 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,910 He also sent six months' dues. 240 00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:00,040 Maybe he feels obligated. 241 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,840 When he goes, he wants to go out as an active member. 242 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,450 Well, I see no signs of his going. 243 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,280 For an invalid who's supposed to have one foot in the grave, 244 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,350 he seems to be possessed of remarkable stamina. 245 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,250 It's only been three weeks. 246 00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:16,390 Yes, and I've trudged up those four flights every week, 247 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,590 and each time he looks just the same. 248 00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:19,790 I saw him. 249 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:22,330 Plain as day, I saw him. 250 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,500 Saw who? 251 00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:25,400 Clarence Weems. 252 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,440 I was on the ninth hole in the public park. 253 00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:30,070 He was taking a walk, and he wasn't alone. 254 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,310 He was with a woman. 255 00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:35,140 Well, maybe it was someone who looked like him. 256 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:37,880 No. It was him. He even waved at me. 257 00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:40,520 Well, there's one way to find out just what's going on. 258 00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:43,150 He looked very healthy. 259 00:13:43,180 --> 00:13:44,350 Coming, gentlemen? 260 00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:46,890 Oh, yes! Yes. 261 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,590 Oh, hello, Mr. Stone. 262 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:20,920 Is your father home? 263 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,260 Oh, he's taking a nap now. The doctor doesn't want him disturbed. 264 00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:25,660 (PANTING) 265 00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,630 Has he... Has he been out of the house today? 266 00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:29,830 I'm sorry, I just got in. 267 00:14:29,860 --> 00:14:32,070 Why don't you come by tomorrow and ask him yourself? 268 00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:35,340 And, Harry, don't forget we have an appointment with Reverend Newton tomorrow. 269 00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,070 I'll tell my daddy you dropped by to see him. 270 00:14:37,070 --> 00:14:38,070 Bye. 271 00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:44,250 Why, you're practically one of the family, 272 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,580 and that's the sort of treatment we get. 273 00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:46,880 Please, the man's resting. 274 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,080 I tell you, it was him I saw. 275 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,390 So? A man has a right to walk in the sunshine. It may be his only chance. 276 00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:55,120 Not when it's costing us $50 a week. 277 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,190 To say nothing of the taxes and upkeep on the property. 278 00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,830 Maybe he's just holding out long enough, 279 00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:00,860 just to see his daughter married. 280 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,530 It's only human. 281 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,200 All right. That's one month from now. 282 00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:07,900 In the meantime, I suggest we keep an eye on Mr. Weems. 283 00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:17,480 Enjoy yourselves. 284 00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:20,520 Oh, good evening, Brother Evans. 285 00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:22,080 Nice to see you, Mrs. Evans. 286 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,050 Looks like it's a big night for the Lodge. 287 00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:24,390 Yes. Go right in. 288 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:30,160 It's a source of great satisfaction 289 00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:32,190 to see our fellow members turning out. 290 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,070 Good evening, gentlemen. I want you to meet Mrs. Collins. 291 00:15:40,070 --> 00:15:41,740 Her late husband used to be a member. 292 00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:43,070 I told her about you. 293 00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:44,140 She thinks it's real nice of you 294 00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:46,070 to take such an interest in me. 295 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,940 That'll be two tickets, thank you. 296 00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:52,210 I'm sorry I was resting the last two times you dropped by. 297 00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:53,480 But you just keep coming. 298 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,450 You never know when you'll catch me up. 299 00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,920 (MUSIC PLAYING) 300 00:16:01,690 --> 00:16:04,090 I haven't been to a Lodge dance in over two years. 301 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,140 Get Brown and Elkins right away. 302 00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:17,110 I'm calling an emergency board meeting. 303 00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:19,040 Yeah. Yeah. 304 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,320 They're coming. 305 00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:32,590 I just saw him. 306 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:34,820 I tell you, I just saw Clarence Weems big as life. 307 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,620 And he had that same woman with him. 308 00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,730 Your powers of observation are remarkable. 309 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:45,100 Gentlemen, a fraud has been perpetrated on this Lodge, 310 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,970 a bare-faced fraud. And he did it. 311 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,640 I didn't know he was coming here. 312 00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:53,270 I'm not talking about just that. 313 00:16:54,410 --> 00:16:56,380 It's all clear now. Everything. 314 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,080 You talked us into this scheme 315 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,020 just so you could marry that daughter of his. 316 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,890 Now Weems is self-supporting. 317 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,020 Now he's no longer a burden to her. 318 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,720 Why, the Lodge is practically financing the wedding. 319 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,360 And the honeymoon. 320 00:17:10,390 --> 00:17:12,560 I won't listen to such lies, 321 00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:15,160 not from somebody who practically stole money from the Lodge. 322 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,600 What? Yes! 323 00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:18,230 Your real estate firm got the commission 324 00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:19,530 for selling the cemetery to the Lodge. 325 00:17:19,570 --> 00:17:21,800 I heard you admit it to Mr. Weems. 326 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,300 That was merely a coincidence! 327 00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:24,870 (LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY) 328 00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:27,610 Please, please, we're all Lodge brothers here. 329 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,380 Now, nobody's accusing anybody of anything. 330 00:17:29,410 --> 00:17:31,610 He did! He said I made it all up! 331 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:34,350 I can prove what I said about Mr. Weems being a very sick man. 332 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,690 Well then, somebody better tell Mr. Weems. 333 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,590 Why, he's already entered himself in the cha-cha contest. 334 00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:41,520 If you want an affidavit, ask the doctor. 335 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,390 That where you got it from? 336 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,760 He as much as said Mr. Weems wouldn't be with us much longer. 337 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,930 Well, we're wasting time. Why don't we talk to him? 338 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,070 That's one way to find out who's telling the truth. 339 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,840 All right, all right. 340 00:17:53,870 --> 00:17:56,370 We'll all go see his doctor. Is everyone agreed? 341 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,140 Agreed. 342 00:17:58,170 --> 00:18:00,210 Fine. All right, take it easy, Cato. 343 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,410 Now, sit down, sit down. Sit down. 344 00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:03,110 Cool off. 345 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,220 Would anyone like some coffee? 346 00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:17,560 No, thank you. 347 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,360 Sugar, cream? 348 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:28,640 You told the doctor to expect us? 349 00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:30,040 Yes. 350 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,840 Oh, I'll tell the doctor that you're waiting. 351 00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:43,050 Well, it's nice to know that Clarence has so many friends 352 00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:44,420 who worry about him. 353 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,090 Yes. 354 00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,590 We'd like to know just how he's coming along. 355 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:52,530 I can understand your concern. 356 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,600 Clarence told me about your generous financial arrangement. 357 00:18:55,630 --> 00:18:58,670 Sort of an insurance policy in reverse, 358 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,740 with the death benefits going to the company. 359 00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:03,170 (COUGHING) MAX: I admit it sounds crazy, 360 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,840 but it seemed like a good idea at the time. 361 00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:07,510 DOCTOR: At the time, perhaps it was. 362 00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:11,010 They think I made it all up. 363 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:13,420 I believe I can tell you what you want to know, 364 00:19:13,450 --> 00:19:16,480 without violating my patient's confidence. 365 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,090 If you could just tell us what his chances are. 366 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,560 DOCTOR: There's more to it than that. 367 00:19:20,590 --> 00:19:22,060 It takes something out of a man 368 00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:25,430 when he loses his wife and then his business. 369 00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:26,700 Clarence let himself get run down, 370 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:29,100 he seemed to be wasting away. 371 00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:31,300 He gave up completely, 372 00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:33,030 and he waited for the inevitable. 373 00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:35,770 Yes, Clarence was a very sick man. 374 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,470 But what was this miracle that changed all of this? 375 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:41,040 DOCTOR: The miracle was you, gentlemen. 376 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,310 You gave Clarence something that medical science could not provide. 377 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,410 You gave him a reason and a will to live. 378 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,720 A lifetime annuity is a challenge to any man. 379 00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:55,490 Congratulations, gentlemen. You've brought a dying man back from the grave. 380 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,260 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to the hospital. 381 00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,500 Well, there's nothing more we can do here. 382 00:20:10,370 --> 00:20:12,110 Oh, are you gentlemen leaving? 383 00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,410 Don't you want to see my father? 384 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:14,580 No, thank you. 385 00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:17,650 Coming? 386 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,980 I think I'll just stay and finish my coffee. 387 00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:34,960 He might outlive us all. 388 00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:39,830 Maybe we could sell the land for a housing tract, 389 00:20:39,870 --> 00:20:41,700 or a golf course. 390 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,270 Not while Clarence Weems is an active member of this Lodge! 391 00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:50,210 CATO: He swore a solemn oath to uphold the best interests of the Lodge. 392 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,450 Well, he's not doing it. 393 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:53,750 He's depriving his fellow members 394 00:20:53,780 --> 00:20:55,950 of the ultimate benefits of Elysium Park. 395 00:20:58,150 --> 00:21:01,960 We'll appeal to him in the sacred name of the Lodge. 396 00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:05,490 If he has one spark of decency left, he's got to listen to us. 397 00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:09,060 Asking a man to die as a duty to his Lodge, 398 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,570 that's asking a lot. 399 00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,840 My intention is not quite that drastic. 400 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:20,080 We'll ask him to tear up the contract for the sum of, say, $500. 401 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:21,810 Agreed? 402 00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:25,750 Agreed. Agreed. 403 00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:26,750 Agreed. 404 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,390 He's got to listen to reason! 405 00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:47,340 We'll blackball him from the Lodge if he refuses. 406 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,910 Careful, Clarence, you might strain yourself. 407 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,750 (CHUCKLING) I used to lift pianos. 408 00:21:57,780 --> 00:21:59,910 I'll have it in your apartment in a jiffy. 409 00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:01,280 (FOOTSTEPS THUMPING) 410 00:22:06,050 --> 00:22:08,920 Look! He's as strong as an ox! 411 00:22:12,330 --> 00:22:13,500 Stone! 412 00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:15,400 Hey. 413 00:22:15,430 --> 00:22:18,170 Well, he's as white as a ghost! 414 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,840 Hey, here comes Doc Allen. Hurry up, Doc. Come on up. Quick. 415 00:22:21,970 --> 00:22:23,070 Come on, Doc. 416 00:22:26,610 --> 00:22:28,080 He just looked up and passed out. 417 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,350 I'm afraid he's gone. It's his heart. 418 00:22:32,380 --> 00:22:34,720 He shouldn't have been climbing these stairs week after week. 419 00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,620 The poor, dear man. 420 00:22:41,090 --> 00:22:42,620 So young to die. 421 00:23:04,310 --> 00:23:08,580 It was a sweet thought, your giving that poor, dear man 422 00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:10,590 the very plot they gave to you. 423 00:23:10,620 --> 00:23:12,950 It was the least I could do. 424 00:23:13,050 --> 00:23:16,730 He tried dreadful hard to make a success of this place. 425 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,460 MINISTER: Relatives and good friends of Cato Stone... 426 00:23:24,130 --> 00:23:25,670 There. 427 00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:28,500 I think that proves that we can be as sunshiny as anyone. 428 00:23:30,070 --> 00:23:34,610 Clarence and the widow Collins lived happily ever after. 429 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,250 And in desperation, the trustees finally converted their park 430 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,920 into a track for dog racing. 431 00:23:40,950 --> 00:23:44,550 It proved more popular than a cemetery, and rather profitable, too. 432 00:23:45,990 --> 00:23:47,490 One of the consolations of being ill 433 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,660 is the gifts one receives. 434 00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:54,100 One of my dear friends sent me this. Solid oak. 435 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,400 Silver handles, too. 436 00:23:57,430 --> 00:24:00,840 Apparently, the donor wishes to remain anonymous. 437 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,540 The card is unsigned. 438 00:24:07,110 --> 00:24:08,310 Very nice. 439 00:24:09,380 --> 00:24:11,250 But I better not overtax myself. 440 00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,420 Until our next visiting hours, then.